one word check-in {november twenty-two}

If you wrote a post for this month’s check-in, I invite you to join the One Word party, share in Comments below, or reflect on your own. Whatever works! The link will be live all week, through Sunday.

Thanks for coming.

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Similar to October’s, my November prompt for Engage ’22 was…dry…you could say.

But helpful. Necessary. A good investment!

This month, I paid attention to how I engage. Specifically, I’m trying to readjust the auto-setting I described here:

More than 18 years ago, I trained myself to execute tasks the same way some people eat: as a grazer. (Not to be confused with multi-tasking; I rarely do two things at once anymore.) I'll do a little bit…then address something else equally/more important…repeat…and repeat. Circle back ’round and, eventually...eventually...everything’s done. (Or forgotten!)

That’s how I did it for years! Because I had to [as a mother of three young children]. And it worked.

But? It doesn't work for me anymore. And? It doesn't have to! Our kids are growing up-up-up. (One is very much on her own.) I can finish what I start without worry of nap times or choking or getting through the witching hour.

It's a hard habit to change, though. It's been a long time.

So. This month, I remind myself I don’t have to engage that way. You’re good! You can finish what you start! You don't have to work triage anymore. Not as much, at least...

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Just noticing this month packed a big punch.

: : Noticing how often I was ‘grazing’. (Constantly!)

: : November progressed, my habits morphed, and with some objectivity I noticed when and how I became distracted: Opening a tab to do one thing but ‘checking’ something else first. Worse, stopping in the midst of the first thing to ‘check’ something else. (In the midst of writing this post, for example, I really wanted to browse vintage turkey prints.) The other pitfall? Starting a task that should be completed in one sitting when I already know time is tight. I.e., squeezing it in. (Like buying plane tickets.)

: : Noticing what I’ll call payoffs for completion. When I finish what I start, I have less clean-up at the end of the day because a million things aren’t left mid-stream; and, I have more time available for what I want to do, not just what I need to do. Finish-what-I-start is way more efficient than ‘task grazing’!

In his book Atomic Habits, James Clear says this about forming good habits: Make it attractive. Make it easy. Make it satisfying. Make it obvious. If we’re talking about drinking more water, for example, that’s an easy formula to follow: Pick a water bottle you love. Keep it where you can see it. Put a lime or cucumber in it. Set a timer to remind you to finish/refill.

Changing habitual behaviors requires a little more…effort. But I’m finding it’s a cycle–all I had to do was get started. The rewards...those payoffs for completion…are the motivation to keep doing the changed behavior: In James Clear’s words, the results of finish-what-I-start make life easier. Make my space more attractive. Better time management is super-satisfying. And when I’m mentally more organized, it’s way obvious when my habits slip. (I feel sloppy + scattered again.)

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Some of my prompts feel big and full and rich; others are a bit more…staid. October + November have felt the latter. Stay-at-home-and-wash-your-hair-on-a-Friday-night type of word work. But that’s significant in its own right, really, and as the year winds down I’m glad to tackle a few things I know will stay with me. Habits I may not have otherwise addressed. Tying loose ends as Engage begins its 12th(!) and final month.

How do you feel about one more [official] month with your One Word ’22? (I need to give that some thought between now and December 1!)