I’ve learned, with practice, that one of the greatest gifts I give to myself is that of low expectations.
Which is exactly what I had for Total Eclipse ’24.
We live in the ‘Path of Totality,’ which meant our small town…all of Chautauqua County…prepped, for months, for loads of visitors. It was A Big BIG Thing. Complete with a planning guide supplement in the local paper.
But as far as I was concerned? It was just…a thing. A neat thing, sure. But not a me thing.
I enjoy the night sky, know the order of the planets, love to see a shooting star. (Should I call it a meteor?) But I was never an astronaut for Halloween. I wouldn’t want to go to outer space. I wouldn’t have even driven out of my way on Monday.
(The night before the eclipse, I dreamt I nearly missed the whole thing because I was ordering a milkshake at our coffee shop — which they don’t actually serve in real life — and I couldn’t decide between frozen yogurt or ice cream. Now that? That’s a me thing.)
Needless to say, I went into Monday with requisite paper shades and no expectations.
And good thing!
The day was cloudy. Overcast.
Our paper glasses were terrible. Nearly pointless, fair to say. But Linc had a top notch pair from his science teacher, and he generously passed them around.
Then, with some stroke of luck, the clouds parted. There was just enough of a gap at just the right time. And we had quite a show!
Sudden cold.
Dark. Shadows. Then darker.
Ominous.
Streetlights came on.
A glow!
And then? It was over. Curtains closed. Houselights came up. The atmosphere…back to [whatever’s] normal.
As we collected our glasses and folded the quilt I’d spread on our roof, I found myself saying out loud: This was way cooler than I’d expected. I’m so glad we got to experience it.
A delightful surprise. And — I’m glad I wasn’t watching the forecast for days…wringing my hands…and cursing the clouds until 3:18pm.
The thing about low expectations is that it makes space, or leaves space, for delighting in what else is there.
Our spring break trip, for example. The singular reason I picked Anna Maria Island was so we could see a manatee. And though we spent 4 hours kayaking there, and the guys at the rental shop had just seen a mama and baby by their dock, we saw…nada.
Well — not really.
If you zoom in, you’ll see the birds in the left-hand picture. The group picture is with my life-long friend who hosted us in Florida.
We paddled past Bird Island (pelicans! egrets! scores of them.) I saw a few dolphin fins. We made our way out to that island of seashells I showed you on Wednesday. The weather was perfect. We laughed. We explored. Linc climbed trees for the first time in a long time.
It was one of my favorite days of the trip.
(Even though!
Low-to-no.
Some people may tune to this setting naturally. Me? Not so much. It’s something I’ve come to the last handful of years, bundled with letting go. Or at least loosening my grip. Relinquishing some control. Ever-practicing the wisdom of non-attachment. (There’s a reason it gets such a good rap.)
While a few things about time + age are bugging me lately, this is not one of them.
The good with the…not as good.
I’ll take it.
your one word 
So much wisdom in here, Carolyn! Our forecast had me thinking there would be no show at all here and I felt bad for the people who wanted the eclipse to Be A Thing! So the afternoon thinning of the clouds was an unexpected delight! I think I had more fun “eavesdropping” on my neighbors sitting out with their grandson (who is autistic, and such a delight!) Hearing their awe and wonder as they experienced the eclipse through his perspective was better than the eclipse!
That “letting go of control” is not an easy thing to do… at all! I’d like to think I am better at it as I age, but really… I am not at all. And you have me thinking that perhaps a year with a word about letting go of control would be a very good thing for me!
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I hear you, Do I ever hear you! It’s been a part of my word work since 2019. A slog some years; slipped off my radar almost entirely at times. And then (as you know), my brother was diagnosed with late stage melanoma and the scaffolding came out from under me. I think that proved to be my biggest teacher. (Not that I’d recommend it!) (Maybe ‘crash course’ is better than ‘teacher’ here…)
And I love your ‘eclipse-perspective-by-way-of-your-neighbors.’ Such a neat ‘secondary’ experience, I might call it…delighting in others’ reactions/responses to what’s on the main screen.♥
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Yup – that’s life! The good coupled with the not-so-good. I’m glad you enjoyed the eclipse (we were in the 90% range, but it didn’t really get dark). Your time in FL sounds delightful.
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Such a great life lesson and one that’s so hard to do! But by letting things be what they are we can enjoy them for just that.
I remember a partial eclipse here when I was a teenager. Very cool. All the birds went quiet (and so did the humans).
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I very much feel the letting go of expectations. I think it’s something I’ve gotten better at in recent years, as it’s become so much more apparently that there’s so much that’s out of our control (and much of what we think we control is really an illusion). I’ve found that I’d much rather have no expectations and be pleasantly surprised when something good happens than really want something to happen and be disappointed if it doesn’t. And this all plays into looking at the bigger picture — focusing on the big things that matter in the long run.
Side note: Several years ago we went out on a boat tour thing to see manatees when we were in Florida. We did see them, but they’re shy. And they are also fewer in number. So oftentimes it’s a crap shoot.
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You have written with so much wisdom. The “letting go of control” is so difficult and yet sometimes if I can manage to do so I am much happier and experience more wonder with “what is.” Does any of this make sense? What wonderful photos of your trip. I’m sure you have some happy memories that will last a lifetime.
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I love the concept of lowering expectations and then being pleasantly surprised. Go with the flow as every day has its own possibilities. So happy you did see the eclipse. I think everyone who does finds its better than expected.. I have only seen a partial one, and its the hush I recall when the birds just stop.
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